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Soul Happiness Part 2

Soul Happiness Part 2


After finishing to write the first part of my post  I have a better vision about what Soul Happiness is meaning to me at this moment.
I letf the emotions come out to the surface on my previous post regarding my health and the struggles I am facing right now. But I realized that the struggles that I feel  in part are nothing more than my own mind putting barriers to my sole understanding of my situations. Felt like it blocked me to see a better picture, to see the new outcomes and to understand that everything happens for a reason! Right!?
I believe we are fully capable to live full of positivity and happiness. Why I doubted about my own capacity and straight to over come more obstacles? If my soul is happy… I am happy ! Meaning that I am aligned to a higher purpose on this life time… on the NOW moment!
When we live on the present moment our whole perspective changes. We are not attached to past experiences or that hold us to move on. Future is yet to come…
So, the PRESENT moment it’s a wonderful stage to be! And that means SOUL HAPPINESS to me💛

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Soul Happiness

Soul Happiness


The day after Thanksgiving I caught myself wondering what Soul Happiness means to me. Trying to think about specific situations that brought me a deep feeling of fulfillment and joy. At same time not sure if those words describes what I felt on Thanksgiving Day…!

As I wrote on my previous posts, the challenges I faced and the barriers that I overcame in the past years are nothing near to the challenge I am dealing at this moment. Only I know how difficult is to make decisions and to have a sixteen years old boy under my sole care.

To those who know my history… ‘’I am the Mother and the Father of my child…” And if for some reason I don’t survive! He will be on his own.

How would you live everyday life, knowing that a decision about your health will be made or postponed every six months or so? How do you live a life with joy and happiness knowing maybe you won’t be here to see your son graduate from High School? If I am blessed to be here to see him graduate… How many years more to be around him…?

On Thanksgiving Day, of course all this questions were pounding on the back of my mind… almost screaming out loud: “- I want a solution!!!” As far as I decided to write this post to take the pressure off of my chest and to share my deepest fears.

A year and half ago I found that I have a heart problem… not going to write all the medical terminology here, but it’s a risk situation and it has kept me on “health watch” for too long! The medication that slows my heart beat and also makes me extremely tired…nothing that I can change!  To those who constantly hear me saying… “I am tired…” Its more than a physical tiredness. Now you know…ha-ha. Every six months or so, I wait for a medical decision regarding my condition… To have or have not an open heart surgery.

I felt very emotional on Thanksgiving Day to be able to enjoy this day with my son and closest friends at my house for the first time. Enjoyed cooking all day long… and eating all night long…!

Considered this day to recharge my thoughts. To renew my faith and to assure that “EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT”  no matter what happens next!

To be continued…

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“Who Sheltered Whom…”?

“Who Sheltered Whom…”?

marks second blog pick

“Who Sheltered Whom…..”?

A few days ago, I visited a woman’s shelter located here in my city. I went to drop off several bags of clothing for one of my clients’ donations. It was interesting, because four days previous, I was revisiting memories of my own need to stay in a shelter. I wrote the first post in my new blog and mentioned that I needed a safe place to stay while fighting for my divorce and the right to stay here in the United States. I don’t why, but this brought up mixed feelings and a little tear to my eye….maybe remembering how very sad and scared I was during that time and not having anyone to look after me.

The interesting part was that I could not be helped by any shelter here, when I needed it most, because I was not yet an American citizen, at the time. I only had my driver’s license, but it was not enough to get me into a shelter, or get any kind of help related to my needs. I was helped by two amazing Americans, who gave me a safe place to sleep, and this helped me get myself back together.

Maybe this was the push I needed to keep fighting…no accommodations, no easy life, and no granted money at that time, but I managed to survive. Figuratively speaking, I didn’t wait for help to fall out of the sky. I have always been a hard worker, and during this time was no different. I worked and worked to be able to feed myself and to bring my son back from Brazil to my waiting arms.

The funny part is that years later, I am still working hard, but with a new perspective. I decided to make my own money by being self-employed, in order to enjoy the freedom of working when I wanted, and have a flexible daily schedule.

So, who sheltered whom? For years, I thought that if I was allowed to stay in a woman’s shelter and receive some kind of benefits, I could put myself in a good situation, and recover faster.

Today, I realize that I only made it through with the help from the Creator. Yes, I had to face all that by myself, because I was strong enough to accept things the way they were and to find my way out of it alone. No chances for accommodations, nor resilience.

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“Everything Will Be All Right…”

“Everything Will Be All Right…”

Marks pick first blog                                                   

  Hello Everyone!

My name is Denise, but I like to go by Dee. Gratitude means a lot to me, I am grateful to be here in this moment in time, living on the present moment,  learning how to get free from old believes and feelings that kept me living on the past for way too long. I have moved to United States from my home Country Brazil almost 10 years ago. Only my son and I, to start a new chapter on our lives. By that time my son was 5 years old and I didn’t speak English at all, when moved to here. I barely studied English in Brazil, I studied for 6 month only, which was not enough. I remember when I first got here at the Airport, they had to call a Portuguese Interpreter because I could not help myself… The hard part of being an immigrant, is when you realize you are part of a big web, thousands and thousands immigrants just like you, which don’t speak English well enough or have an accent which makes hard to a non-fluent English speaker to understand… I am in love with my adopted Country United States, the culture and diversity makes me feel big and part of something magic.

Definitely a different approach where I came from, because here I learned how to respect others people point of view and to expect equal treatment. Only someone coming from another culture like mine will understand what I am saying. What I achieved in almost 10 years here, could not pursue in my home Country for almost 30 years… I learned English by myself. Only enrolled in College few years later in 2010, and have my own business and support my son and I by myself.

Have been married once here, this is the reason why my son and I moved to United States. Unfortunately, he was not the “Prince Charming” and I believed in it with all my heart, to the point to leave everything behind in Brazil to start a new life with him here. I have being divorced for almost 8 years now, with a not happy ending. He was extremely abusive and controlling man to the point of to protect my life, I had to look for shelter and later to fight for my rights under the domestic violence laws. The hardest part was, I was an immigrant with no status granted yet, and I had a fiancé visa, which we were going to apply for the “green card” after the marriage. In this mean time, we had lots of ups and downs and he convinced me to send my son back to Brazil for short visit, while we got things straight up. But this short visit cost me two and half years apart from my son. He lied to me, regarding visa status and when my son stepped out of Unite States he lost his rights to come back. The only way I could be reunited with him was when I won a battle against my former husband to grant the divorce under domestic violence and then proceeded with the case to adjust my immigration status under the domestic violence petition, which I could apply for my son’s green card and finally bring him back to me.

Making a decision to stay here and fighting for my rights might not seemed logical at that moment, because I was apart from my son and all alone on an strange Nation but I did stay and not knowing what the results were going to be… I stayed and fought! Today I understand the Creator had a plan for me, everything happens for a reason, only now I understand it. This is why I am here writing to you to let you know that “EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT…” just believe in yourself and do what feels right to you. Didn’t mean to be so long on my very first post… Inevitably have a lot to say kind didn’t know where to start but here is, hope you all enjoy it.

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